Is Fat Ever JUST Fat?
I was asked to write a blog about "Why...everyone [is] so quick to judge someone based on their size?! Isn't who we are on the inside just as, if not MORE important?! I want my daughter to grow and learn her self worth from who she is and what she's capable of, not by the size of her pants..." So I thought about it and here's what I got.....
We all like to think that being overweight is a natural part of our human nature, and that overindulging in a bit of dinner every night is just a natural part of "what we do." We like to coin phrases like "big is beautiful" and "more to love," to make us BELIEVE that being overweight is a choice, that it is like being blond or wearing high-heels. We look around and think, "they should love me for who I am, not what I look like," and the thing is, they do. Love and like and wonderful, have nothing to do with fat, but love and beauty have nothing to do with the fact that being overweight is just as unhealthy, and just as much an illness, as being anorexic.
How come we don't have any fun sayings for anorexia? "Bones are beautiful," or "Skin is in...literally..." We don't look at people who starve themselves and think, "I becha she's a real nice girl underneath all that I-am-gonna-die starvation....she's probably just into not eating." So why is overeating any more "OK" than not eating? Is it because we see fat more often?
The other day I saw an anorexic woman. She walked into a store or wherever I was and she was merely a skelaton with clothes on, it was starteling. She was walking away from me so I paused and I watched her walk away, all while wondering why her desire to not eat was overriding her desire to live a healthy life. I wondered what was going on in her life to make her so sick.
Being fat is no different, it's just different.
Being fat is so complex when you begin to look at the body as an emotional, spiritual, "WHOLE" system of function, or disfunction, as the case goes. When someone is overweight, there is something going on WRONG. Either the person is using food as a drug to numb themself from feeling, OR, the body is unable to process, digest and use the food the person is eating, OR an emotional problem, drug, toxin etc., has "nocked" the body out of wack and the person's metabolism is not working properly, thus they crave foods their bodies don't even realize they are eating or they store calories instead of processing them out.
Either way, something is wrong.
When a person is functioning properly, thinking properly, feeling good and is healthy, they will no more be annorexic than they will be overweight. They will not use food as a tool in their life, they will use it as sustinence. They will not overindulge any more than they will obstain. They will not crave what they have just eaten and more than they will ignor hungar pangs.
I do not believe that we should ever judge someone for any reason, fat, smart, pretty, ugly, skinny or dumb. I believe that each person is who they are, trying to make their way in this confusing world filled with emotion and loss and happiness. I believe that it is up to the individual to decide that they are ready to stop using drugs, alcohol, food, exercise, shopping, money or work, etc. as a means to escape. I believe that 90% of the time, eating food is rarely about hunger and is usually about something else. I believe that when you look in the mirror and see yourself, truly see yourself as "FAT" or look at the scale and realize that you are overweight, you need to realize that what you are actually seeing is the result of "STUFFING DOWN" emotion or pain or anziety or depression or hurt feelings or anger or resentment, in the form of food.
Because it is never about the food.
I can look at a fat person and find beauty, but the problem is, what I am usually seeing is their pain, pain that turned to food to comfort them. Food to numb them, food to quiet the noise, food to quiet the anger, food to STUFF IT ALL DOWN....
Because it is never about the food.
Big is never more beautiful than bones, just because we see it more often. It is not any more ok for our organs to be surrounded by fat than it is for them to be gasping for nutrution. But that is not even the problem..... we need to realize as a society that being profoundly overweight is our body's symptom that somthing is happening in us that is wrong. It is a red flag that we need to look at our health, our emotions, our happiness, our toxisity, our sprirituality and see if everything is OK because fat is a symptom. Fat is our bodies saying...
"SOMETHING IS WRONG....HELP!"
Our bodies are beautiful, perfect specimens that want to heal and be healthy and be happy. Our bodies want to work and process and run and feel joy...and when they don't, they show us symptoms, like a round belly or high cholestoral or migrains.
Fat is a symptom that something is off.....
So to my reader that has asked, "Why is everyone so quick to judge someone based on their size?! Isn't who we are on the inside just as, if not MORE important?! I want my daughter to grow and learn her self worth from who she is and what she's capable of, not by the size of her pants..." What is on the inside IS more important that what is on the outside, but it is what is on the outside that is showing us what is going on on the inside. Her pant size is not what is important, it is just a measure of how far she has traveled away from who she truly is, and deep down, without all of the insantiy and rhetoric, we know that this is true. Even if it isn't obvious right now.
We all like to think that being overweight is a natural part of our human nature, and that overindulging in a bit of dinner every night is just a natural part of "what we do." We like to coin phrases like "big is beautiful" and "more to love," to make us BELIEVE that being overweight is a choice, that it is like being blond or wearing high-heels. We look around and think, "they should love me for who I am, not what I look like," and the thing is, they do. Love and like and wonderful, have nothing to do with fat, but love and beauty have nothing to do with the fact that being overweight is just as unhealthy, and just as much an illness, as being anorexic.
How come we don't have any fun sayings for anorexia? "Bones are beautiful," or "Skin is in...literally..." We don't look at people who starve themselves and think, "I becha she's a real nice girl underneath all that I-am-gonna-die starvation....she's probably just into not eating." So why is overeating any more "OK" than not eating? Is it because we see fat more often?
The other day I saw an anorexic woman. She walked into a store or wherever I was and she was merely a skelaton with clothes on, it was starteling. She was walking away from me so I paused and I watched her walk away, all while wondering why her desire to not eat was overriding her desire to live a healthy life. I wondered what was going on in her life to make her so sick.
Being fat is no different, it's just different.
Being fat is so complex when you begin to look at the body as an emotional, spiritual, "WHOLE" system of function, or disfunction, as the case goes. When someone is overweight, there is something going on WRONG. Either the person is using food as a drug to numb themself from feeling, OR, the body is unable to process, digest and use the food the person is eating, OR an emotional problem, drug, toxin etc., has "nocked" the body out of wack and the person's metabolism is not working properly, thus they crave foods their bodies don't even realize they are eating or they store calories instead of processing them out.
Either way, something is wrong.
When a person is functioning properly, thinking properly, feeling good and is healthy, they will no more be annorexic than they will be overweight. They will not use food as a tool in their life, they will use it as sustinence. They will not overindulge any more than they will obstain. They will not crave what they have just eaten and more than they will ignor hungar pangs.
I do not believe that we should ever judge someone for any reason, fat, smart, pretty, ugly, skinny or dumb. I believe that each person is who they are, trying to make their way in this confusing world filled with emotion and loss and happiness. I believe that it is up to the individual to decide that they are ready to stop using drugs, alcohol, food, exercise, shopping, money or work, etc. as a means to escape. I believe that 90% of the time, eating food is rarely about hunger and is usually about something else. I believe that when you look in the mirror and see yourself, truly see yourself as "FAT" or look at the scale and realize that you are overweight, you need to realize that what you are actually seeing is the result of "STUFFING DOWN" emotion or pain or anziety or depression or hurt feelings or anger or resentment, in the form of food.
Because it is never about the food.
I can look at a fat person and find beauty, but the problem is, what I am usually seeing is their pain, pain that turned to food to comfort them. Food to numb them, food to quiet the noise, food to quiet the anger, food to STUFF IT ALL DOWN....
Because it is never about the food.
Big is never more beautiful than bones, just because we see it more often. It is not any more ok for our organs to be surrounded by fat than it is for them to be gasping for nutrution. But that is not even the problem..... we need to realize as a society that being profoundly overweight is our body's symptom that somthing is happening in us that is wrong. It is a red flag that we need to look at our health, our emotions, our happiness, our toxisity, our sprirituality and see if everything is OK because fat is a symptom. Fat is our bodies saying...
"SOMETHING IS WRONG....HELP!"
Our bodies are beautiful, perfect specimens that want to heal and be healthy and be happy. Our bodies want to work and process and run and feel joy...and when they don't, they show us symptoms, like a round belly or high cholestoral or migrains.
Fat is a symptom that something is off.....
So to my reader that has asked, "Why is everyone so quick to judge someone based on their size?! Isn't who we are on the inside just as, if not MORE important?! I want my daughter to grow and learn her self worth from who she is and what she's capable of, not by the size of her pants..." What is on the inside IS more important that what is on the outside, but it is what is on the outside that is showing us what is going on on the inside. Her pant size is not what is important, it is just a measure of how far she has traveled away from who she truly is, and deep down, without all of the insantiy and rhetoric, we know that this is true. Even if it isn't obvious right now.
I thought this was an interesting article that is inline with your post.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2012/05/weight-stereotyping-the-secret-way-people-are-judging-you-based-on-your-body-glamour-june-2012
Interesting. I'm still trying to figure out who we are and how we know. After surviving a deep brain surgery and resulting stroke, so much is different. I used to think I was pretty smart and could do anything. Times have changed, I now have way more limits...its hard for me to figure out who I am now. To me it seems that our brains are so much of who we are...but that could change for anyone at anytime....I know all too well.
ReplyDeleteYou are none of it and all of it. We are "this" only for a moment, only while we are here and only if we want it to be.
DeleteJust as a person with Autism isn't "not smart" nor, "not communicating" they just are smart differently and communicating differently than most of us, you are now limited differently and smart differently than you were.
You are now much smarter than I am, in a different way...just as I am smarter than another person in a different way.
I would never say to put limitations or qualifications or definitions on anyone or anything as it "limits" our peramiters.
Our brains are never who we are, they just are a bridge between our spirts and our bodies and that is where we find our human self....far from WHO we will be....or who you are. Nothing is damaged, it is only different, ready for a new beginning.