I relinquish control, now go live your life!
Is it possible to want the best for someone and not be controlling? Is it possible to watch someone you love marry someone you don't like and NOT say anything? Is it possible to watch a loved-one make, what you feel is, a mistake and sit back silently? Is it possible to watch someone you love, have a relationship with someone you HATE, and not manipulate, chip away at or sabotage the relationship?
Is it easy to recognize when you are being "messed with?" Is it easy to see the difference between a good-intentioned bit of advice versus a self-serving dose of destruction?
I have recently become aware of the fact that I WAS NOT PUT ON THIS PLANET TO FIX, CHANGE, ALTER, MANIPULATE...ANYONE! Not one person! Nobody!
Do you know the weight that is lifted off of your shoulders when you recognize that you do not have the responsibility to fix you mother, sister, friend, stranger, husband...anyone!!! You slowly morph from the unsolicited-advice-giver to the go-live-your-life-the-way-you-want person.
This may seem obvious, but to a Type-A, know-it-all like me, this is very much a relief! I now know it is every one's right to completely and totally screw up their life...JUST LIKE I WAS ALLOWED TO! I know realize that it is up to THAT person to be fat, stupid, careless, selfish, kind, a cheater, poor, rich or whatever and it has absolutely nothing to do with me! NOTHING!!!
But how do I now deal with people that don't know this fabulous little secret? How do I let them know that I am allowed to make all of my own mistakes? How do I let them know that I am not looking for help..unless of course I ask. How do I let other people understand that it's not that I don't care...I just want to afford them the same opportunity to kiss all the frogs they want! How else can they figure out what kind of husband they want!?
We are put on this Earth to enjoy our time here. We are here to love and have fun and enjoy each and every day...within the context of OUR definition of love, fun and enjoying. We are not here to live anyone Else's life, nor are they to live ours. We are not here to abide by anyone Else's standards or definitions. We are not here to listen to society's view on what love should look like.
I will no longer allow myself to be manipulated by other people who want me to live their life, who want me to use THEIR standards of happiness and correctness to judge the people and situations around me. I will no longer say "yes" or "no" to appease a person who should be living their own life.
I will no longer commiserate about how other people SHOULD be living. I will no longer spend any of my time or energy working to figure out what SHOULD make anyone else happy or sad or better. The more quickly we recognize that "fixing" people is taking away from our own happiness AND THEIRS, the quicker WE AND THEY will be happy!
I relinquish my desire to fix. I relinquish my desire to control. I relinquish my need to judge. We cannot know what is best for another, it is totally and completely impossible. We have to respect each individual's God-given right to make all the mistakes they want. We need to recognize that without mistakes, the wrong paint color, the wrong boyfriend, the wrong dress, NOBODY grows, learns, gets smarter!!
If you want my help, I am here, other than that...I write a Blog....you get enough of my malarkey here!
Click COMMENTS to leave a comment!!!
Is it easy to recognize when you are being "messed with?" Is it easy to see the difference between a good-intentioned bit of advice versus a self-serving dose of destruction?
I have recently become aware of the fact that I WAS NOT PUT ON THIS PLANET TO FIX, CHANGE, ALTER, MANIPULATE...ANYONE! Not one person! Nobody!
Do you know the weight that is lifted off of your shoulders when you recognize that you do not have the responsibility to fix you mother, sister, friend, stranger, husband...anyone!!! You slowly morph from the unsolicited-advice-giver to the go-live-your-life-the-way-you-want person.
This may seem obvious, but to a Type-A, know-it-all like me, this is very much a relief! I now know it is every one's right to completely and totally screw up their life...JUST LIKE I WAS ALLOWED TO! I know realize that it is up to THAT person to be fat, stupid, careless, selfish, kind, a cheater, poor, rich or whatever and it has absolutely nothing to do with me! NOTHING!!!
But how do I now deal with people that don't know this fabulous little secret? How do I let them know that I am allowed to make all of my own mistakes? How do I let them know that I am not looking for help..unless of course I ask. How do I let other people understand that it's not that I don't care...I just want to afford them the same opportunity to kiss all the frogs they want! How else can they figure out what kind of husband they want!?
We are put on this Earth to enjoy our time here. We are here to love and have fun and enjoy each and every day...within the context of OUR definition of love, fun and enjoying. We are not here to live anyone Else's life, nor are they to live ours. We are not here to abide by anyone Else's standards or definitions. We are not here to listen to society's view on what love should look like.
I will no longer allow myself to be manipulated by other people who want me to live their life, who want me to use THEIR standards of happiness and correctness to judge the people and situations around me. I will no longer say "yes" or "no" to appease a person who should be living their own life.
I will no longer commiserate about how other people SHOULD be living. I will no longer spend any of my time or energy working to figure out what SHOULD make anyone else happy or sad or better. The more quickly we recognize that "fixing" people is taking away from our own happiness AND THEIRS, the quicker WE AND THEY will be happy!
I relinquish my desire to fix. I relinquish my desire to control. I relinquish my need to judge. We cannot know what is best for another, it is totally and completely impossible. We have to respect each individual's God-given right to make all the mistakes they want. We need to recognize that without mistakes, the wrong paint color, the wrong boyfriend, the wrong dress, NOBODY grows, learns, gets smarter!!
If you want my help, I am here, other than that...I write a Blog....you get enough of my malarkey here!
Click COMMENTS to leave a comment!!!
well said
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