Visitors in the Attic

I got a phone call yesterday and the person was hysterical.  She has raccoons in her attic and she HATES animals, let alone raccoons!  She said she heard a man walking in her attic one night.  She called her husband upstairs to "listen," and at first he didn't hear it, and then after a second listen...there they were.  The raccoons!

So as the days passed, her large, noisy visitors continued to make their way into her home and she could barely sleep.  She kept waiting for the raccoons to make their way down through the ceiling to eat her...or worse.  Night after night the raccoons would climb the trees, enter the attic and taunt her.



She finally got someone to come over to attempt to trap the raccoons.  The door to the attic is in her closet so she removed every item from her closet.  Shoes, purses and all her clothes were moved to another bedroom in the house so that when the raccoon was removed from the attic, down through the whole and out of the house, her clothes would be perfectly intact with no threat of raccoons to soil her threads.

Yesterday, the guy came over, but the raccoons were NOT in the attic.  He boarded up the holes,  cutting the wood, walking it up to the attic, bear-crawling the boards over to the holes, nailing them closed, while my friend was downstairs praying that this would keep the raccoons out.

My friend and her helping hand then decided that it would be a good idea to add boulders to the holes (I have zero idea why either, but what do I know?)  As my friend waited downstairs she heard a loud "THUD" so she went upstairs to make sure all was going as planned.  As she rounded the corner she said her helping was exiting a bedroom that he should not have been exiting?

She had a moment of not knowing exactly what was happening and then he said it...

"I JUST FELL THROUGH THE CEILING!"  HUH?!

This can't be true.  This is a new home?  The house is for sale. You can't possibly be telling me that you just fell through the ceiling and now there is drywall and paint and insulation...everywhere...holy crap.

So as she is telling me all of this yesterday she is crying and laughing all at the same time.  I can't even believe what she is saying.  Along with her helping hand, the 20 pound boulder also made its way through the ceiling.  All of this and drywall and insulation landed all over her clothes, the same clothes she had painstakingly moved from her closet so that they would stay clean..kill me.

The helping hand and her then attempted to duck-tape (HUH?) the ceiling shut because if the attic WAS NOT SUFFICIENTLY BOARDED UP, THE RACCOONS COULD NOW GET INTO THE HOUSE!  This can't really all be true....can it?

So I received a text this morning that they put a bungee cord on the door to the bedroom with the hole in the ceiling.  She said that for three straight hours last night the raccoons danced on the roof attempting to get into the attic, all that and she hasn't slept yet.  Her son came over last night to shop vac the bedroom to attempt to clean up some of the drywall and I suggested she take all her clothes to a laundromat so that she doesn't ruin her washing machine washing clothes covered in sheet rock.

I can't wait to hear what is happening today....  She is only trying to sell the house, and will undoubtedly have a house showing scheduled for this week.  Next she will tell me the deer have learned how to open doors and have taken up residence in her family room.  After the raccoons nothing is beyond my imagination.


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