She Wants to go home
Yesterday I told the story about how Emersyn ran up to me at gymnastics and said "I miss you momma," on the This Is My Life page. After having a night to reflect on this, and really working with her all day yesterday, Jim and I noticed a HUGE difference in her behavior.
Over the last couple weeks we have noticed that Emersyn has become "punchy." She hasn't been having as much fun, she has been super clingy with Jim and seems to almost dislike me if he is around. She has been crying a lot and is just generally angry and homesick. Even when we are at home.
Yesterday after she said "I miss you," I realized how completely her and my relatinship has changed since Brock has come into our lives. She and I use to do everything together. We use to lay on the couch together and now I am always feeding Brock. We use to go to gymnastics together and I have either missed it or sent Jim. We use to play together and now I am busy holding Brock or changing Brock or telling her to stop messing with Brock.
Life is 100% different and she has been totally affected by it...and I have been too busy, and too exhausted, and too preoccupied to notice.
All of that compounded with the fact that Skylar and Cody are not here to take her attention away, or play with her, and she misses them horribly.
So yesterday, over and over again I just kept telling her how great she is, how much I love her, how much fun I had at gymnastics with her...etc. etc. When I was making dinner I sat her on the counter and made her look at me and I told her that everything is going to be ok...she didn't even want to look at me. I told her that she is the greatest girl in the world and that Skylar would be home soon and that mommy and her would spend more time together.
I think we both needed to hear all of it. I think we both needed to reconnect. I think both of us hadn't even realized how far we had gone from where we started 8 weeks ago. I didn't realize that I missed my Emersyn so much, but I did.
I'm so glad that I took the time to get a babysitter yesterday so that Emersyn and I could reconnect. I have hired her again from next Wednesday. Hopefully next Wednesday she won't feel as though she has missed me, but instead will feel as though we are just having a nice day together.
It is amazing how quickly a relationship can change when it is ignored. When we turn our attention to work, school, a new friend, exercise, or whatever, we don't know the damage that is being done when our back is turned. We don't know how ignored or neglected the other person is feeling. We can't expect that although WE are preoccupied and busy, that the other person is as well.
I now realize that although I was busy with Brock, Emersyn was busy being ignored and feeling neglected. Unfortunately she didn't have the vocabulary to tell me...she just said she wanted to go home.
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Over the last couple weeks we have noticed that Emersyn has become "punchy." She hasn't been having as much fun, she has been super clingy with Jim and seems to almost dislike me if he is around. She has been crying a lot and is just generally angry and homesick. Even when we are at home.
Yesterday after she said "I miss you," I realized how completely her and my relatinship has changed since Brock has come into our lives. She and I use to do everything together. We use to lay on the couch together and now I am always feeding Brock. We use to go to gymnastics together and I have either missed it or sent Jim. We use to play together and now I am busy holding Brock or changing Brock or telling her to stop messing with Brock.
Life is 100% different and she has been totally affected by it...and I have been too busy, and too exhausted, and too preoccupied to notice.
All of that compounded with the fact that Skylar and Cody are not here to take her attention away, or play with her, and she misses them horribly.
So yesterday, over and over again I just kept telling her how great she is, how much I love her, how much fun I had at gymnastics with her...etc. etc. When I was making dinner I sat her on the counter and made her look at me and I told her that everything is going to be ok...she didn't even want to look at me. I told her that she is the greatest girl in the world and that Skylar would be home soon and that mommy and her would spend more time together.
I think we both needed to hear all of it. I think we both needed to reconnect. I think both of us hadn't even realized how far we had gone from where we started 8 weeks ago. I didn't realize that I missed my Emersyn so much, but I did.
I'm so glad that I took the time to get a babysitter yesterday so that Emersyn and I could reconnect. I have hired her again from next Wednesday. Hopefully next Wednesday she won't feel as though she has missed me, but instead will feel as though we are just having a nice day together.
It is amazing how quickly a relationship can change when it is ignored. When we turn our attention to work, school, a new friend, exercise, or whatever, we don't know the damage that is being done when our back is turned. We don't know how ignored or neglected the other person is feeling. We can't expect that although WE are preoccupied and busy, that the other person is as well.
I now realize that although I was busy with Brock, Emersyn was busy being ignored and feeling neglected. Unfortunately she didn't have the vocabulary to tell me...she just said she wanted to go home.
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