How to Lose 10 Pounds in 4 Minutes...

As the delivery room begins to look like a baby-inception station, my husband hoists my dead-fish-without-feeling left leg up and the nurse grabbs my right leg.  I've been here before, I know what to do...it is time to push and get this baby here...I can do this.  I will make my husband proud.  I will make him love me more as he watches me work...


I grab my legs and take in a deep breath and bear down as I hear everyone cheer me on.  I can hear my nurse counting to ten and then I draw in another deep breath.  I feel every muscle in my body tighten as I pull my legs back and raise my head and body up.  I am doing this and I can see Jim's face and know I am doing great.  "Oh my gosh Meredyth, you are doing so great! I am so proud of you, it is so amazing" he says breathing heavily as he watches the miracle unfold in front of him.

I want to push this kid out faster than I pushed out Skylar.  I want to be amazing.  I want to shine.  I want to meet my baby.  Deep breath in...tighten..squeeze...push...deep breath...."Meredyth you are doing great..keep pushing like that, the baby's right here....just a little farther...ok, now wait a minute."

I lay back down on the bed and take a few breaths and close my eyes.  I know I am close but have no idea that Jim, the doctor and the nurse are staring down at a blue head with a cord wrapped tightly around it's neck.  Jim looks at the doctor and she automatically goes into "holy-shit-this-needs-fixed-now" mode.  Her face gets serious as she carefully slides the cord from around his neck and face and pushes it down over his shoulder.  I am oblivious to what is happening.



My cheering sections pipes up again and tells me it's time to push again and I hoist myself up and grab my legs again ready to get this kid out.  Deep breath in and PUSHHHH!!!!! and out he comes.  The instant relief washes over me and I feel the baby on my belly as I lay back on the bed.  I look up at the small purple and blue body as he is placed face-down in the fetal position.  I ask "is it a boy or a girl?" and someone answers, "Boy!!"  There is no cry, there is no explosion of movement from the baby that has been trapped in the birth canal, there is only a blue, still body on my belly being rubbed and wiped feverishly, to get him to breath.  I am calm.  A whimper and gurgle makes its way out of his throat.

I look at Jim and he is in tears.  "I told you he was going to be a boy!" I say.  I am relieved, I was so adamant that he was a boy.  I so wanted it to be a boy for Jim.  I feel like I have done well.  I feel like I have given him all that I could give him.  I know that I have done good, and I am enjoying watching Jim watch his son.

They ask if it is ok to take him to get him suctioned and I say, "of course."  The doctor works on me for a while and the nurse looks at me and tells me that it only took me 4 minutes to push "that big baby out."  Everyone is in amazement as to how big he is.  I am only focused on Jim and the baby.  I am exhausted, I am done, I am spent.  Jim can monitor everything now, I have given it all and I have nothing left to give.

I lie back and close my eyes.  I have given him a son.  I have battled and done good, I'm going to rest now....

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