Held Hostage at the Mall by Joe
I'm not sure if any of you have ever been trapped at the mall, but yesterday, Emersyn and I were. In November I took my car in for service and they were so gracious to drive me back and forth to my home while the car was being fixed. Yesterday I was told that I live OUTSIDE of the shuttle area NOW and they could only drop me off at the mall. (Buy the way, I did not move, they just changed their policy...lucky me).
Ok. So I get to my appointment to drop off my car and they tell me that the service should take 2-3 hours. Ok. I can do that.
The shuttle driver drives Emersyn and I to the mall and shows me where the pick-up point will be and he will see me shortly. So Emersyn and I start our time-waisting tour of the mall. We get a smoothie, a soft pretzel, we make our way to Gymboree with our trusty coupons, and over to Nordstrom to buy "new baby" some "going home" socks.
We work down to The Bistro to have some lunch, then over to Disney Store to waist some time coloring and watching movie previews. I have learned I can waist at least 30 minutes in the Disney Store, all while sitting.
I have now waisted 3 hours and 45 minutes. I am completely and totally exhausted. I am completely and totally dying to lay down. I want to leave and I can't. I am officially trapped in the mall.
The service department finally calls me...."30 more minutes"....I can do 30 more minutes. It is going to take me 30 more minutes to walk to the pick-up place....
"Come on Emersyn, it's time to go to the car," I say to her. She looks up at my with the black raccoon eyes of a two year old that is 2 hours past her nap, "we go home mamma!" "Almost, we are almost done..(thank God!)"
As I waddle back to Old Navy to use their restroom I see the ever-savior bench where Emersyn and I wait for our knight in shinning armor...or the smells-like-smoke-fifty-year-old-service-guy that is picking us up. As I see my van roll up I waddle to put my bags in the back, the stroller in the back, and Emersyn in her car seat. I barely make my way around the back of the van to the passenger seat and throw my pregnant carcass in.
I'm not even going to bother with small talk at this point, I am beyond life and talk and anything. Just get my butt home.
As I return to the service department they don't have my paperwork ready. It is now 2:20 p.m. and I am almost in tears waiting to pay the damn bill. Joe, my service warden explains.... the printer...jammed..invoice...blah blah blah.....I DON'T GIVE A SHIT... TAKE MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER AND BUY YOURSELF A FLIPPIN PORCHE, JUST LET ME LEAVVVVEEEE!!!!
He finally prints out the paperwork and I give him my card ($54 for wiper blades...really?!?!) I am beyond caring at this point what anything costs. I know my van is right over there waiting to take me home where I can get in bed and close my eyes....
Ok, yeah, your sorry, yeah, you washed my van, fabulous...don't care...great, ordered a part...gonna take 1 1/2 hours to install next time...sure, great, lovely...I'm going to deliberately deliver this kid right here and let Emersyn scratch that Cayenne over there if you DON'T LET ME GO HOME!!!
And I make it home, barely put Emersyn in her bed and drag myself to my room where I melt into my bed. Thank you bed...thank you. I really thought I was a goner...I love you.
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Ok. So I get to my appointment to drop off my car and they tell me that the service should take 2-3 hours. Ok. I can do that.
The shuttle driver drives Emersyn and I to the mall and shows me where the pick-up point will be and he will see me shortly. So Emersyn and I start our time-waisting tour of the mall. We get a smoothie, a soft pretzel, we make our way to Gymboree with our trusty coupons, and over to Nordstrom to buy "new baby" some "going home" socks.
We work down to The Bistro to have some lunch, then over to Disney Store to waist some time coloring and watching movie previews. I have learned I can waist at least 30 minutes in the Disney Store, all while sitting.
I have now waisted 3 hours and 45 minutes. I am completely and totally exhausted. I am completely and totally dying to lay down. I want to leave and I can't. I am officially trapped in the mall.
The service department finally calls me...."30 more minutes"....I can do 30 more minutes. It is going to take me 30 more minutes to walk to the pick-up place....
"Come on Emersyn, it's time to go to the car," I say to her. She looks up at my with the black raccoon eyes of a two year old that is 2 hours past her nap, "we go home mamma!" "Almost, we are almost done..(thank God!)"
As I waddle back to Old Navy to use their restroom I see the ever-savior bench where Emersyn and I wait for our knight in shinning armor...or the smells-like-smoke-fifty-year-old-service-guy that is picking us up. As I see my van roll up I waddle to put my bags in the back, the stroller in the back, and Emersyn in her car seat. I barely make my way around the back of the van to the passenger seat and throw my pregnant carcass in.
I'm not even going to bother with small talk at this point, I am beyond life and talk and anything. Just get my butt home.
As I return to the service department they don't have my paperwork ready. It is now 2:20 p.m. and I am almost in tears waiting to pay the damn bill. Joe, my service warden explains.... the printer...jammed..invoice...blah blah blah.....I DON'T GIVE A SHIT... TAKE MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER AND BUY YOURSELF A FLIPPIN PORCHE, JUST LET ME LEAVVVVEEEE!!!!
He finally prints out the paperwork and I give him my card ($54 for wiper blades...really?!?!) I am beyond caring at this point what anything costs. I know my van is right over there waiting to take me home where I can get in bed and close my eyes....
Ok, yeah, your sorry, yeah, you washed my van, fabulous...don't care...great, ordered a part...gonna take 1 1/2 hours to install next time...sure, great, lovely...I'm going to deliberately deliver this kid right here and let Emersyn scratch that Cayenne over there if you DON'T LET ME GO HOME!!!
And I make it home, barely put Emersyn in her bed and drag myself to my room where I melt into my bed. Thank you bed...thank you. I really thought I was a goner...I love you.
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