Are We Making a Memory, or Clutter?

There was a study done that the longest time an item will bring a person recognizable happiness is nine months.  Whereas the amount of time that an experience can bring happiness, is a lifetime.  What does this mean?  What does this mean for parents?  How can we implement this knowledge into our daily life so that we do not waist our "happiness" on items, knowing that they will only bring us 9 months of joy?

For me, I learned a while ago that the more stuff I have, is the more stuff I have,...who cares?!  I have watched family members spend fortunes on STUFF only to sell it, give it away or have to lug it from one home to the next.  I have seen so many people buy, own and upgrade themselves into being no more happy, but a lot more broke.  And I realized, when I was a single mom and scraping by with the least I had ever had, I was the happiest I ever was.  Was I on to something, or was I just glad to be single again?

The thing is that although I CAN buy this or that, I know that the shine will wear off of it...well, at least in 9 months.  I know that the new watch that I got for Christmas this past year, although nice, will never bring the joy that I will be able to "call up" as when I think about our last few vacations.  I know that even though I could have bought Jim an iPad for his 40th birthday, he will never care about that "thing" as much as the memory of our trip to New York for the night.

My friend's sister-in-law only buys my friend's kids "experiences" as gifts.  She will take them shopping in New York, or to the theater or whatnot.  She will never just bring a wrapped gift to the party.  I always thought that was nice, but until I heard of this study, I never realized just how nice, how thoughtful and how long-lasting her gifts really were.  

I ask my kids, "do you even remember what I got you for Christmas a few years ago?" And the resounding answer is always, "no!"  And it is true!  Who the heck can remember what or where, when it comes to stuff?  What is amazing and shinny today is on it's way to Goodwill or the curb tomorrow!  Cause it is just stuff.

Sure we all need to have SOME stuff.  We all need the necessities and we all want to have nice clothes or nice things in our home, but do we need 30 purses, 200 pairs of shoes and 800 toys for our kids?  Isn't it all just to appease ourselves and make us feel like we HAVE?!  Who cares?  

When I buy something I like to ask myself if I need it, want it and will it make my life better.  Then I think about how long Jim or I have to work to buy IT.  Then I think "if I don't buy it and save the money, Jim can retire sooner....or we can go on a trip together."  We can make a memory or we can spend more time together, which is really the goal.

Our Big Vacation is at the end of August.  It is a very expensive trip, but a memory that I have held onto now for 8 months.  I can remember the way breakfast tasted and the way Emersyn lit up as Big Bird walked down the sidewalk.  I can recall the way Cody and Skylar bound into the hotel room to tell us they went down 40 feet when they went SCUBA diving, and the way the beer tasted at that Irish Bar.  These are memories I will have forever.  These are memories my kids will have forever, and that is so much better than ANOTHER new shirt or pair of shoes.

Cody gives me a hard time about stuff.  He wants stuff stuff stuff and it drives me bananas.  I try and tell him that the whole inside of him that he is trying to fill with stuff will NEVER get filled and that noTHING will ever be good enough.  I was the same way.  I get it, and we each have to learn our own lessons in life...even if it leads to a ton of debt at a young age.  Stuff gets you nothing but more for garbage day, more to haul to Goodwill and more to store.

Our country is filling up the sides of highways with U-Store-It places because we, as a country, are consumed with consuming.  We buy and shop as a "thing to do" for the afternoon and we aren't satisfied if we don't have the latest and greatest of EVERYTHING!  We just don't need it and all this stuff is just weighing us down.

We just need to recognize that memories, vacations and experiences are gifts for a lifetime.  THESE are "things" that we should look to spend our hard-earned money on.  Things, well, things are only new for the moment.  I remember making the gingerbread house with the family for Christmas, but just look at what you  BOUGHT for Christmas last year...is it junk yet?

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