NEW RULES OF PARENTING!
Talk to your kids about all sex, just not YOUR sex
Talk to your kids about all drugs, just not what you may or may not have done..always refer to this as "my friend that took drugs...."
Tell you kids that all YOUR SHIT is yours and now they have to go out and get theirs...NO THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE, OR YOUR CAR OR YOUR MONEY, NOW GO TO COLLEGE AND MAKE A LIFE FOR YOURSELF CAUSE YOU'RE OUT AT 18...lovey poo
Make you kids go ON the college website they WANT TO attend to see what it actually takes to get into "the college they are "going to." If I hear of one more kid "attending" an Ivy league school and that kid has zero idea what it takes to get in, I am going to PUNCH their parents.
Teach your kids to do their own laundry and at least know how to make toast, you may be sick one day and they will need to eat, you aren't doing them any favors by wiping their ass for them when they are teens, cut the cord already, they need to walk eventually!
Explain to your kids that if they watch Internet porn or the crap on cable, it will warp their brains, Yes they can find it and it is there, but explain to them if they watch it it will ruin their minds...they can watch it when they are older and already screwed up.
Let you kids know that mommy and daddy are allowed to drink because they are adults and pay all the bills and that it is legal for them to drink AND TO DARN BAD...THEY CAN DO IT WHEN THEY ARE ADULTS TO!
DO NOT lie about your kid's age to save yourself a few bucks at the buffet or movie theater, because when they see YOU lie, they learn that if it serves them, it is OK to lie. YOU LIE, THEY LIE, SIMPLE ISN'T IT?
If you aren't planning on paying for your kids college, wedding or car, tell them now...let's not wait till they fill out the applications, get engaged or dream of every piece of metal on four wheels. It shouldn't be a shock to them when the day comes. Man-the-heck-up and tell them the truth.
It is not up to children to pick what religion they are going to be, if they want to make those choices they can do that in college when they are deciding if they want to be an astronaut or an artist...spirituality is not a choice, it is a way of life.
You must tell everything to your kids before they hit puberty. After puberty you are a moron and know nothing. Get them at 8 or 10 years old and they will remember everything...then tell them again before they get out of the car to go to "that" party.
You do not need to tell your kids how perfect you were, you do not need to tell your kids how bad you were..it is of no concern. They are them, just tell them what you want for them AND WHY... just tell them about all those "friends" you knew that screwed up...stories are worth their weight in gold.
When your kid tells you they want to be an Underwater World Biologist Chemistry Guru...have them look up what it takes to be that. If I hear one more teen tell me that they are going to be a astro-physisist, with zero clue as to the schooling it takes to be that...again, smacking their parents...
If you let your kids wear clothes with a bad message, you will get kids with a bad message.
If you let your kids smoke around you, drink around you, take drugs around you, you are telling them that the law is shit. You are also telling them they are not worth parenting, and they will eventually hate you for it...look at all the adults on TV that say "my dad did drugs with me at 16, and now I am a mess." You are not doing them any favors. If they want to be a screw up, make them do it without your approval.
If your kid tells you they are pregnant, hug them. Whatever comes out of your mouth at that moment they will remember forever.
If your kid tells you they are a mess, believe them. They will always know that their pain mattered to you.
If your kid tells you they love you...they want to hear it back. SAY IT!
If you kid tells you they are gay, say "who cares, I love you no matter what." Because what you say at that moment they will remember forever.
If you kid comes home from school angry, bitchy, irritable or mad at YOU, realize that something happened at school and this has NOTHING to do with you. Help them through it and give them space, being a kid is impossible, not just hard.
If you talk bad about other races, women, religions, people, classes or people of other sexual orientations, don't be suprised when the principal calls and tells you your kid is in trouble for being a bigot, just look in the mirror and fix your shit. This kid wasn't born a hater.
Do not leave your children to be raised by schools, friends, the television or the Internet. Take the responsibility of parenting as the most precious gift ever given, and a responsibility you decided to take on when you said "yes!" Embrace talking to your kids about sex, embrace saving for their college, embrace grounding them for getting in trouble at school, for one day, it will all be out of your hands and you will be scratching and clawing for a moment of time, an ounce of influence and a hand in their future.
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Talk to your kids about all drugs, just not what you may or may not have done..always refer to this as "my friend that took drugs...."
Tell you kids that all YOUR SHIT is yours and now they have to go out and get theirs...NO THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE, OR YOUR CAR OR YOUR MONEY, NOW GO TO COLLEGE AND MAKE A LIFE FOR YOURSELF CAUSE YOU'RE OUT AT 18...lovey poo
Make you kids go ON the college website they WANT TO attend to see what it actually takes to get into "the college they are "going to." If I hear of one more kid "attending" an Ivy league school and that kid has zero idea what it takes to get in, I am going to PUNCH their parents.
Teach your kids to do their own laundry and at least know how to make toast, you may be sick one day and they will need to eat, you aren't doing them any favors by wiping their ass for them when they are teens, cut the cord already, they need to walk eventually!
Explain to your kids that if they watch Internet porn or the crap on cable, it will warp their brains, Yes they can find it and it is there, but explain to them if they watch it it will ruin their minds...they can watch it when they are older and already screwed up.
Let you kids know that mommy and daddy are allowed to drink because they are adults and pay all the bills and that it is legal for them to drink AND TO DARN BAD...THEY CAN DO IT WHEN THEY ARE ADULTS TO!
DO NOT lie about your kid's age to save yourself a few bucks at the buffet or movie theater, because when they see YOU lie, they learn that if it serves them, it is OK to lie. YOU LIE, THEY LIE, SIMPLE ISN'T IT?
If you aren't planning on paying for your kids college, wedding or car, tell them now...let's not wait till they fill out the applications, get engaged or dream of every piece of metal on four wheels. It shouldn't be a shock to them when the day comes. Man-the-heck-up and tell them the truth.
It is not up to children to pick what religion they are going to be, if they want to make those choices they can do that in college when they are deciding if they want to be an astronaut or an artist...spirituality is not a choice, it is a way of life.
You must tell everything to your kids before they hit puberty. After puberty you are a moron and know nothing. Get them at 8 or 10 years old and they will remember everything...then tell them again before they get out of the car to go to "that" party.
You do not need to tell your kids how perfect you were, you do not need to tell your kids how bad you were..it is of no concern. They are them, just tell them what you want for them AND WHY... just tell them about all those "friends" you knew that screwed up...stories are worth their weight in gold.
When your kid tells you they want to be an Underwater World Biologist Chemistry Guru...have them look up what it takes to be that. If I hear one more teen tell me that they are going to be a astro-physisist, with zero clue as to the schooling it takes to be that...again, smacking their parents...
If you let your kids wear clothes with a bad message, you will get kids with a bad message.
If you let your kids smoke around you, drink around you, take drugs around you, you are telling them that the law is shit. You are also telling them they are not worth parenting, and they will eventually hate you for it...look at all the adults on TV that say "my dad did drugs with me at 16, and now I am a mess." You are not doing them any favors. If they want to be a screw up, make them do it without your approval.
If your kid tells you they are pregnant, hug them. Whatever comes out of your mouth at that moment they will remember forever.
If your kid tells you they are a mess, believe them. They will always know that their pain mattered to you.
If your kid tells you they love you...they want to hear it back. SAY IT!
If you kid tells you they are gay, say "who cares, I love you no matter what." Because what you say at that moment they will remember forever.
If you kid comes home from school angry, bitchy, irritable or mad at YOU, realize that something happened at school and this has NOTHING to do with you. Help them through it and give them space, being a kid is impossible, not just hard.
If you talk bad about other races, women, religions, people, classes or people of other sexual orientations, don't be suprised when the principal calls and tells you your kid is in trouble for being a bigot, just look in the mirror and fix your shit. This kid wasn't born a hater.
Do not leave your children to be raised by schools, friends, the television or the Internet. Take the responsibility of parenting as the most precious gift ever given, and a responsibility you decided to take on when you said "yes!" Embrace talking to your kids about sex, embrace saving for their college, embrace grounding them for getting in trouble at school, for one day, it will all be out of your hands and you will be scratching and clawing for a moment of time, an ounce of influence and a hand in their future.
Click COMMENTS to leave a comment!!! Like what you read today? Post it to your Facebook page so everyone can read it! Click below to share!
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