I May Eat the Kids
So I have officially entered the third trimester of this here pregnancy. Ya know where you're fine, you're fine, you're fine and BAM, I NEED TO EATTTT!!!!! or the I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine...I NEED TO SLEEPPPPP!!!! Yeah, that stage. The other day I had to ask Skylar to tell me when the car in front of our car moved so I could close my eyes at the red light for a moment. I mean I just needed a second, did it matter that I was behind the wheel? She was there to help out!?
And then there was last week when Cody and I waited at a doctor's office for 30 minutes before we asked "is the doctor ready yet?" and the receptionists responded "oh geeze, I forgot you were waiting, didn't you get the voicemail, he isn't here today, he has the flu, I'm sorry!" OHHH REALLY?! Funny if I call and cancel the same day it costs me $25 and when we signed in you just failed to notice that we were seeing someone who wasn't in the office!!
Problem was, when I walked into the office I had JUST realized that I was hungry. I did have an apple before I left the house but I am beginning to think apples just make you hungry? So as my blood continued to boil from waisting THAT 30 minutes of my life, not to mention that I am never home at night and could have stayed home, I became hungrier and hungrier...and hungrier....
So I called Jim who was in charge of dinner. Spaghetti and a jar of sauce. "hey there...when you start the noodles (in 15 minutes because I shouldn't be home for another 25 minutes so I KNOW YOU DIDN'T START THEM YET!!!), make sure you make a package and a half for all FIVE OF US!!!) ....what? you started the noodles already and only made 3/4 of a pound for 5 people" FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IN HEAVEN, THERE'S NOT ENOUGH FOOD!!!!
So as I walk into the kitchen already primed for anger, annihilation and destruction I see a saucepan half filled with water and cooking spaghetti noodles. HUH?!?!? Who is the sam hell is THAT suppose to feed?? Furious I grab a frozen pizza out and start to preheat the oven. I figure Jim and I can each have a smalllllll portion of noodles and share the pizza when it is done cooking.
So I also grab a piece of bread and butter....and Jim out of fear, as am sure he can see horns growing out of my head at this point, offers me ALL of the noodles. So I take them...hey, I'm not the person that made an ounce of food for 5 people?!? So the pizza is done...I am watching Jim attempt to get the pizza out of the oven and I suggest to him to drag the pizza onto a plate....S-P-L-A-T....Pizza flipped upside down onto the kitchen floor....&@#^&.....((*&@#@....is this really happening....
But I have eaten the spaghetti, 3 pieces of bread and butter and could care less....I mean what am I suppose to do? I wasn't the one who made 10 noodles for 5 people?
So he flips the pizza over, throws the cheese and toppings back onto the pizza and sits down. Now HE is furious that all of dinner is a complete disaster...but the pregnant lunatic is fed...nobody is going to lose a limb.
So yeah, that stage, hunger-NOW. sleep-NOW. anger-NOW....I hate it. I look longingly at the other moms at the store purchasing bottles of wine...I dream of sleeping through the 3 a.m. hour without having to go to the bathroom and I am wondering if after THIS kid I will ever have a waist again? Doubt it!
I only have about 11 weeks to go, I think I can do it, I mean, do I really have a choice here? The real question is can my family take it? Doubt it...
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And then there was last week when Cody and I waited at a doctor's office for 30 minutes before we asked "is the doctor ready yet?" and the receptionists responded "oh geeze, I forgot you were waiting, didn't you get the voicemail, he isn't here today, he has the flu, I'm sorry!" OHHH REALLY?! Funny if I call and cancel the same day it costs me $25 and when we signed in you just failed to notice that we were seeing someone who wasn't in the office!!
Problem was, when I walked into the office I had JUST realized that I was hungry. I did have an apple before I left the house but I am beginning to think apples just make you hungry? So as my blood continued to boil from waisting THAT 30 minutes of my life, not to mention that I am never home at night and could have stayed home, I became hungrier and hungrier...and hungrier....
So I called Jim who was in charge of dinner. Spaghetti and a jar of sauce. "hey there...when you start the noodles (in 15 minutes because I shouldn't be home for another 25 minutes so I KNOW YOU DIDN'T START THEM YET!!!), make sure you make a package and a half for all FIVE OF US!!!) ....what? you started the noodles already and only made 3/4 of a pound for 5 people" FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IN HEAVEN, THERE'S NOT ENOUGH FOOD!!!!
So as I walk into the kitchen already primed for anger, annihilation and destruction I see a saucepan half filled with water and cooking spaghetti noodles. HUH?!?!? Who is the sam hell is THAT suppose to feed?? Furious I grab a frozen pizza out and start to preheat the oven. I figure Jim and I can each have a smalllllll portion of noodles and share the pizza when it is done cooking.
So I also grab a piece of bread and butter....and Jim out of fear, as am sure he can see horns growing out of my head at this point, offers me ALL of the noodles. So I take them...hey, I'm not the person that made an ounce of food for 5 people?!? So the pizza is done...I am watching Jim attempt to get the pizza out of the oven and I suggest to him to drag the pizza onto a plate....S-P-L-A-T....Pizza flipped upside down onto the kitchen floor....&@#^&.....((*&@#@....is this really happening....
But I have eaten the spaghetti, 3 pieces of bread and butter and could care less....I mean what am I suppose to do? I wasn't the one who made 10 noodles for 5 people?
So he flips the pizza over, throws the cheese and toppings back onto the pizza and sits down. Now HE is furious that all of dinner is a complete disaster...but the pregnant lunatic is fed...nobody is going to lose a limb.
So yeah, that stage, hunger-NOW. sleep-NOW. anger-NOW....I hate it. I look longingly at the other moms at the store purchasing bottles of wine...I dream of sleeping through the 3 a.m. hour without having to go to the bathroom and I am wondering if after THIS kid I will ever have a waist again? Doubt it!
I only have about 11 weeks to go, I think I can do it, I mean, do I really have a choice here? The real question is can my family take it? Doubt it...
Click COMMENTS to leave a comment!!! Like what you read today? Post it to your Facebook page so everyone can read it! Click below to share!
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