Attacked by Bears Saturday Night
Apparently if you eat a certain amount of gummy bears when you are pregnant, they will act as a sort of, Gastrointestinal sludge. Not fun. And then I ate cereal for dinner, the perfect dinner for any pregnant person, and that got backed up, and then there was the yogurt, and that got backed up...and then I went to bed.
And that began an entire night of burping, and heartburn and being completely miserable. I tried to prop myself up on pillows, tried Tums, tried water, and nothing worked. Those gummy bears were like a plug and nothin was getting past those little jerks.
They seemed so harmless at the point of purchase. They weren't chocolate, they weren't those weird soda bottles that are filled with God-knows-what and made out of wax that you chew. They were gummy bears, harmless, fat free and oh so chewy....like putty in a sink drain I tell you.
3:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m., 5:30 a.m., still not sleeping. Oh that darn Jim over there dreaming and snoring away. Me backed up with gummy bears and cereal and a baby cramming itself from one side of my belly to the other. Flip flop-flip flop-back and forth. Perhaps I will just put on the TV and not even try this anymore. Who am I kidding, the 3rd trimester has started and there is no turning back. I will not sleep again for another 15 months and that's just the way it's going to be....
Oh, and I have learned something over the last seven days, namely when I had the barf-flu. When you are pregnant and do the "I-feel-like-I-have-to-pee-so-bad-but-then-I-go-and-nothing-comes-out" and you think it is because there is nothing in there and that you just FEEL like you have to go. This is NOT the case. What actually is happening is that your bladder has pee in it but YOU JUST CAN'T GET IT ALL OUT! How do I know you ask...well, when I was having my barf-o-rama, yah, well, let's just say, the bladder is as full as ever, and when "forced" into going, will "let loose!" FULL I TELL YOU, FULL!
So I have a new protocol. No gummy bears, and I think that my last large-ish meal can't be after 4:00 p.m. if I don't want to revisit it all night. I just keep telling myself that THIS is the hard part....who am I kidding.
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And that began an entire night of burping, and heartburn and being completely miserable. I tried to prop myself up on pillows, tried Tums, tried water, and nothing worked. Those gummy bears were like a plug and nothin was getting past those little jerks.
They seemed so harmless at the point of purchase. They weren't chocolate, they weren't those weird soda bottles that are filled with God-knows-what and made out of wax that you chew. They were gummy bears, harmless, fat free and oh so chewy....like putty in a sink drain I tell you.
3:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m., 5:30 a.m., still not sleeping. Oh that darn Jim over there dreaming and snoring away. Me backed up with gummy bears and cereal and a baby cramming itself from one side of my belly to the other. Flip flop-flip flop-back and forth. Perhaps I will just put on the TV and not even try this anymore. Who am I kidding, the 3rd trimester has started and there is no turning back. I will not sleep again for another 15 months and that's just the way it's going to be....
Oh, and I have learned something over the last seven days, namely when I had the barf-flu. When you are pregnant and do the "I-feel-like-I-have-to-pee-so-bad-but-then-I-go-and-nothing-comes-out" and you think it is because there is nothing in there and that you just FEEL like you have to go. This is NOT the case. What actually is happening is that your bladder has pee in it but YOU JUST CAN'T GET IT ALL OUT! How do I know you ask...well, when I was having my barf-o-rama, yah, well, let's just say, the bladder is as full as ever, and when "forced" into going, will "let loose!" FULL I TELL YOU, FULL!
So I have a new protocol. No gummy bears, and I think that my last large-ish meal can't be after 4:00 p.m. if I don't want to revisit it all night. I just keep telling myself that THIS is the hard part....who am I kidding.
Like what you read today? Post it to your Facebook page so everyone can read it! Click below to share!
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