Skylar's Wedding....

Some days I find myself fantasizing about Skylar's wedding.  I am not sure what it is about her getting married that has me so captured, but, for me, it is a dream I hold dear in my mind.

 I picture what the store will look like when we shop for her dress, how I will feel as she floats from the fitting room, wearing that first dress.  Oh how the white will just glow around her, as the angel she is, and always has, been.  I imagine my breath being hard to find as the lump in my throat grows and the tears in my eyes escape their hiding place.

The flowers, the candles, the venue, the cake... nothing will be without perfection, without detail, and without a touch of Skylar in every bit of it.

I speak to her about her future husband ofter, because it is so important to me that whomever she is with is so kind, so loving, so wonderful, so without a drop of anger, or bitterness, or harshness.  I tell her ofter how special she is and how I only wish for her to find someone that sees her for the amazing, special, loving, intelligent person that she is growing into.



How I look forward to knowing her as an adult.  How excited I am to be a part of such an amazing woman's life.  How fortunate I am to be her mother, to have known her for so many precious years, to have watched her grow from such a beautiful, wide-eyes baby into the kindest, gentlest, most fun person I have ever known.

I take myself to that day of her wedding, that day when I will have to sit in the front row, waiting for her, waiting to see her in her gown with that Skylar smile...  walking towards the next chapter in her life, stepping into a place that is not mine anymore.

I dream of Skylar's future because I am excited about it for her.  I dream of it because I know that someone as amazing as she, will make it wonderful.  I dream of how I will move that piece of hair away from her cheek as she walks away at the end of her reception.  I dream of seeing her on the dance floor, knowing at that moment, "this is just as I imagined it would be...how magical."

I have a few more years with her in my arms, feeling my heart warm when I know she is putting her faith in me, knowing she hears my words, and wants to hear what I have to say...priceless.  I have a few more hours with her next to me, she, not even realizing how amazing I find each and every bit of her.

Tonight I cry for how much I love my baby girl.  Tonight I cry because she is the most amazing, fuzzy-headed, skinny-legged, brown-eyed, fabulous baby girl in the world, and I love her with everything in my soul.

Thank you for allowing me to know you.  Thank you for allowing me to love you so very much, even with all of my flaws, my imperfections and my inattentiveness.  You will never know on a daily basis how much everything you do means to me, how every part of you amazes me and how the size of your heart, fills me.

You are beautiful in every way a person can be, I love you.

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