Meeting with the Navy Seals Today
Cody and Skylar have a new saying, and this is how it goes...
"Mom, Cody did_____ and then and then and then.....SEE, YOU AREN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT....THAT IS WHY I HATE YOU...YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING....EVER!!!"
Mind you, I get this exact same thing from both of them. They begin yelling that I am "not doing anything" right in the midst of them telling me what JUST happened. While I am listening, while I am processing. I haven't figured out if when they come into the room I am suppose to just start bludgeoning their sibling, before I hear anything, or what? But I obviously don't know how to parent whatsoever because they both complain that "I never do anything."
I think they are both THERE. You know the place, the place where I have no idea how to do anything and I am completely inept at parenting and basically being a human in general. Yesterday Cody and Skylar came back from their dad's house, in Ohio. They no sooner got off the plane that they start fighting. I am beginning to think that their dad puts Benedryl in their cereal and then on the plane ride it wears off because I don't think they fight at all there?
Both kids got iPads for Christmas from their dad and step-mom. Now it is our turn to make sure they don't stay up all night with them, see the wrong things on the Internet, ruin them, or whatever else a kid can do to screw themselves up with one of these little high-tech dreams. Yesterday I was "the meanest mom in the world" because I told them they can't store their iPad on the kitchen counter. UM...WATER?!! Yes, they are correct, I am a moron.
I THEN told them that they could store the darn things on the roof for all I care but that I am not responsible for them, don't care what happens to them and will NOT be replacing them....AT ALL. I then was informed that they have a "2 year plan" on them and that it doesn't matter what happens to them because Best Buy will replace the iPad if anything happens to them. Great an irresponsibility clause, how wonderful.
Time to parent teens, game on and I am getting ready, they WILL NOT be winning here, I'm ready for them....I hope...
So today while they are at school I am going to the Navy Seals Store to buy my recon gear, I am going to pick up some thicker skin and a chest plate to protect my heart. After that I am heading over to the lawyer's office to get some more debate techniques and then over to the car dealership to brush up on my negotiating skills, as mine are obviously not where they need to be to deal with two preteens.
But I guess where I really need to make an appointment is over at the Philly's training camp. It is there where they will teach me the hitting skills I need to take care of these kids. Cody and Skylar obviously feel that I am lacking in the "beating the children" category?
Better yet, I will just keep them accountable, take them to their dance and sports, listen when they talk, ground them when necessary and make them do the dishes. Yeah, I think I can live with that, and if not, I can always just start beating the living hell outta both of them, maybe THEN they will think I am a good mom, because keeping their iPad out of the dishwasher isn't cutting it? How do I manage being this dumb?
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"Mom, Cody did_____ and then and then and then.....SEE, YOU AREN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT....THAT IS WHY I HATE YOU...YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING....EVER!!!"
Mind you, I get this exact same thing from both of them. They begin yelling that I am "not doing anything" right in the midst of them telling me what JUST happened. While I am listening, while I am processing. I haven't figured out if when they come into the room I am suppose to just start bludgeoning their sibling, before I hear anything, or what? But I obviously don't know how to parent whatsoever because they both complain that "I never do anything."
I think they are both THERE. You know the place, the place where I have no idea how to do anything and I am completely inept at parenting and basically being a human in general. Yesterday Cody and Skylar came back from their dad's house, in Ohio. They no sooner got off the plane that they start fighting. I am beginning to think that their dad puts Benedryl in their cereal and then on the plane ride it wears off because I don't think they fight at all there?
Both kids got iPads for Christmas from their dad and step-mom. Now it is our turn to make sure they don't stay up all night with them, see the wrong things on the Internet, ruin them, or whatever else a kid can do to screw themselves up with one of these little high-tech dreams. Yesterday I was "the meanest mom in the world" because I told them they can't store their iPad on the kitchen counter. UM...WATER?!! Yes, they are correct, I am a moron.
I THEN told them that they could store the darn things on the roof for all I care but that I am not responsible for them, don't care what happens to them and will NOT be replacing them....AT ALL. I then was informed that they have a "2 year plan" on them and that it doesn't matter what happens to them because Best Buy will replace the iPad if anything happens to them. Great an irresponsibility clause, how wonderful.
Time to parent teens, game on and I am getting ready, they WILL NOT be winning here, I'm ready for them....I hope...
So today while they are at school I am going to the Navy Seals Store to buy my recon gear, I am going to pick up some thicker skin and a chest plate to protect my heart. After that I am heading over to the lawyer's office to get some more debate techniques and then over to the car dealership to brush up on my negotiating skills, as mine are obviously not where they need to be to deal with two preteens.
But I guess where I really need to make an appointment is over at the Philly's training camp. It is there where they will teach me the hitting skills I need to take care of these kids. Cody and Skylar obviously feel that I am lacking in the "beating the children" category?
Better yet, I will just keep them accountable, take them to their dance and sports, listen when they talk, ground them when necessary and make them do the dishes. Yeah, I think I can live with that, and if not, I can always just start beating the living hell outta both of them, maybe THEN they will think I am a good mom, because keeping their iPad out of the dishwasher isn't cutting it? How do I manage being this dumb?
Like what you read today? Post it to your Facebook page so everyone can read it! Click below to share!
LOVE it Meredyth!!!! And yes...I too have just logged on to learn how you can 'set' the hours that our kids IP addresses can access the internet in the house....EASY way to make SURE they are not using their little toys when they shouldn't (including laptops, i-pads, i-pods & internet on their phones! lol). Good luck to you and absolutely LOVE your blogs (and I NEVER read blogs:). Tammy:)
ReplyDeleteTammy, tell me what you find out. We have wireless internet but what you are saying about IP addresses is a great idea. Thanks for the kind words, I greatly appreciate it!! Hope you all had a great holiday!
ReplyDelete