Cheating, Mental Hospitals and Men
Many years ago I had a friend who was married for many years. And for those many years that she was married she cheated on her husband, to the point that one of her children is not her ex-husband's, but the child of one of her many affairs.
After those many years she finally met a man, (an ex-con), that she found so wonderful, that she decided that HE would be the one that she would finally leave her husband for. She decided this all while knowing that she would lose custody of her children and she still did it.
During all of this her husband decided that she had obviously lost her mind, as she was an excellent mother, and on the surface, a great wife. He couldn't imagine that she was making any of these decisions with a clear head. I, however couldn't agree outwardly considering I knew that she had a long list of previous affairs, this one was just "a keeper."
So he put her in a mental hospital.
I knew it wasn't going to do any good. Her mind was made up and she was leaving. She had left the marriage long ago, but now she was leaving the family. She had found her reason, a reason she felt was good enough to leave a life that she was "over" and no amount of group sessions, individual counseling or medication was going to change her mind. It would only postpone the inevitable.
Looking back on all of this, she didn't do anything men don't do every day. Men all over the world have affairs, find a new flavor of the week, pack their bags and leave their wife and children. Nobody puts them in a mental hospital? Nobody thinks they have lost their minds? Why is it that if a woman leaves her children, she's "lost it?" But men can do it over and over and over again and it is just "the way it is?"
I am in no way saying that I could ever leave my children, but I get it... sometimes. I understand wanting to escape it all, just run in the other direction and not look back. Run from the responsibility and the pressure and the constant storm of BEING NEEDED!
I remember her telling me that she wrote a paper in school one week, where she talked about leaving her family and starting over. She talked about how she would feel if she were single and alone and how amazing that would be....of course, it was only a school paper for college...watch what we send into the universe because it all came true in less than 12 months.
I know countless men who have "moved on." Who's wife just didn't understand them anymore. Kill me and give me a big, fat, break. Trust me, the next woman won't get you either!
I remember judging her for letting her husband "take" her kids. I remember thinking "what kind of woman loses her children for another man?" REALLY?! I don't remember thinking that about the countless MEN who have been in the EXACT same position?! Why is it ok for men? Why can't women jump ship without being considered "garbage" or "a bad mom."
I don't have answers, I guess it is the same as "a man is a stud and a woman is a tramp."
And no Jim, I am not going anywhere...I was just thinking about all of this at 4:00 a.m.
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After those many years she finally met a man, (an ex-con), that she found so wonderful, that she decided that HE would be the one that she would finally leave her husband for. She decided this all while knowing that she would lose custody of her children and she still did it.
During all of this her husband decided that she had obviously lost her mind, as she was an excellent mother, and on the surface, a great wife. He couldn't imagine that she was making any of these decisions with a clear head. I, however couldn't agree outwardly considering I knew that she had a long list of previous affairs, this one was just "a keeper."
So he put her in a mental hospital.
I knew it wasn't going to do any good. Her mind was made up and she was leaving. She had left the marriage long ago, but now she was leaving the family. She had found her reason, a reason she felt was good enough to leave a life that she was "over" and no amount of group sessions, individual counseling or medication was going to change her mind. It would only postpone the inevitable.
Looking back on all of this, she didn't do anything men don't do every day. Men all over the world have affairs, find a new flavor of the week, pack their bags and leave their wife and children. Nobody puts them in a mental hospital? Nobody thinks they have lost their minds? Why is it that if a woman leaves her children, she's "lost it?" But men can do it over and over and over again and it is just "the way it is?"
I am in no way saying that I could ever leave my children, but I get it... sometimes. I understand wanting to escape it all, just run in the other direction and not look back. Run from the responsibility and the pressure and the constant storm of BEING NEEDED!
I remember her telling me that she wrote a paper in school one week, where she talked about leaving her family and starting over. She talked about how she would feel if she were single and alone and how amazing that would be....of course, it was only a school paper for college...watch what we send into the universe because it all came true in less than 12 months.
I know countless men who have "moved on." Who's wife just didn't understand them anymore. Kill me and give me a big, fat, break. Trust me, the next woman won't get you either!
I remember judging her for letting her husband "take" her kids. I remember thinking "what kind of woman loses her children for another man?" REALLY?! I don't remember thinking that about the countless MEN who have been in the EXACT same position?! Why is it ok for men? Why can't women jump ship without being considered "garbage" or "a bad mom."
I don't have answers, I guess it is the same as "a man is a stud and a woman is a tramp."
And no Jim, I am not going anywhere...I was just thinking about all of this at 4:00 a.m.
Like what you read today? Post it to your Facebook page so everyone can read it! Click below to share!
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