32 Years without Gifts?!
Last night I went Christmas shopping with Skylar. She asked me to stop at the bank so that she could withdrawl her money, so she could buy presents. As we made our way through the mall, discussing the different gifts for the people on her list, I was amazed at the amount of money she was willing to spend. As we walked, we discussed the different gifts that she was going to buy each person and why she thought "that" gift would be great! As she spoke, I saw myself as I kid thinking of what to buy mom, dad, Grandma, Hilary, James, etc. I remember being so excited about the different gifts that I bought, and I remember bursting at the seems while waiting to give my family their special gifts.
It was fun to see that same excitement, lust for giving and attention to detail in Skylar. She is really an amazing kid.
And then there is my other child.
Not that there's anything wrong with it....BUT
I have taken Cody to the mall, discussed his options and made every face I can think of and he refuses to buy even one person, even ONE $1 gift. He's not buying anything, period. UG! Again with the head against the wall.
It is not that I want him to spend every dollar he has on Christmas gifts, it is just painful to watch him try on new shoes he wants to buy himself as I say "Cody, how about you wait till Christmas for the shoes and use some of that money to buy Christmas gifts for people?"
Cody: "NO, I'm not buying anyone, anything."
Kill me!
I have been buying Christmas gifts for my family since I was walking around the Snowflake Shop at Westview Elementary School. I divided out the $20 my mom gave me (when I was in 2nd grade) to buy for every person on my list. Granted, at 8 that wasn't my money, but as I got older, it was my money. When I was a single parent and rubbing together nickles, I did buy for each and every sibling and all my parents and grandma.
My sister, Leslie, she's the same way. She knows that Christmas is here every year on December 25th and saves accordingly. She never forgets anyone and always chooses the nicest, most appropriate presents. James, well, James has been really great at gifts for the past five years or so, and when he started giving gifts it was great because he has great taste and always finds the most amazing things!
I know PEOPLE VERY CLOSE TO ME THAT HAVE NEVER, EVER GIVEN ME A GIFT, Christmas, birthday, wedding, nothing, in my entire life! I Think it is ridiculous that THEY have zero problem accepting the gifts that I send them. I have never even gotten a thank you, phone call or acknowledgement that they ever even receive the gifts I send them? It is like, "oh here is yet another gift that Meredyth sent me, oh well, how nice." NOTHINGGGGG EVERRRR!!!
Is it so freaking hard to call and say "HEY, THANKS FOR THE GIFT, SORRY I DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING FOR THE 32ND YEAR IN A ROW BECAUSE I AM TOO BUSY BUYING CIGARETTES AND SHIT FOR MYSELF!" I think I may actually have popped something in my brain there.....
Anyway, I just don't want Cody, or any of my kids to be LIKE THAT. I don't want anyone to feel bad that they thought of my kids, and they just selfishly accepted that they are the "king tut that rightly deserves" a gift, yet doesn't find anyone worth going to Target, getting a $10 gift card, putting it in a card and sending it to say, HEY, I THOUGHT OF SOMEONE BESIDES MYSELF THIS YEAR!?!?!
Good think I am hiding my feelings in this one huh?
But honestly, it doesn't take much to send a pair of gloves, a scarf, a CD, an iTunes gift card or a Christmas ornament. It doesn't take but a second to pick up the phone and call and say thank you when you receive a gift. It is simple common courtesy, right?
I will continue to do what I KNOW is right, I will continue to lead my kids by example and show that gifts don't have to cost a lot, they don't have to be flashy or name brand, they just have to come from the heart. So the question I guess is this, if you don't get anyone Christmas gifts from the heart, and you don't say thank you for the one's you receive, is it because you don't have a heart, or just don't have any class?
I know when you give a gift you are not suppose to expect anything in return. I know that when you give someone something it is suppose to be because you want to give them a gift and you aren't expecting anything out of it. BUT LET'S GET REAL PEOPLE. This year, and next year, how about you not get anything from your spouse, or boyfriend or family and each year you get them something, trust me, you will get irritated and wonder what the heck is going on? It is called a Christmas exchange, not a Christmas give and not get.
Honestly, I like giving more that getting. Not that you could ever tell by this blog. I would rather send Leslie a gift than get one from her, but today, when I opened my front door and saw a huge box from her, I thought to myself, "Wow, she is really an amazing woman, she thought of me and my family and I can't wait to see what she chose!" It isn't about the gift, or what she spent, it is the thought. I guess I just like being thought of. I guess I just want people to feel thought of by my kids. Because the alternative, is, well, thoughtless....
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It was fun to see that same excitement, lust for giving and attention to detail in Skylar. She is really an amazing kid.
And then there is my other child.
Not that there's anything wrong with it....BUT
I have taken Cody to the mall, discussed his options and made every face I can think of and he refuses to buy even one person, even ONE $1 gift. He's not buying anything, period. UG! Again with the head against the wall.
It is not that I want him to spend every dollar he has on Christmas gifts, it is just painful to watch him try on new shoes he wants to buy himself as I say "Cody, how about you wait till Christmas for the shoes and use some of that money to buy Christmas gifts for people?"
Cody: "NO, I'm not buying anyone, anything."
Kill me!
I have been buying Christmas gifts for my family since I was walking around the Snowflake Shop at Westview Elementary School. I divided out the $20 my mom gave me (when I was in 2nd grade) to buy for every person on my list. Granted, at 8 that wasn't my money, but as I got older, it was my money. When I was a single parent and rubbing together nickles, I did buy for each and every sibling and all my parents and grandma.
My sister, Leslie, she's the same way. She knows that Christmas is here every year on December 25th and saves accordingly. She never forgets anyone and always chooses the nicest, most appropriate presents. James, well, James has been really great at gifts for the past five years or so, and when he started giving gifts it was great because he has great taste and always finds the most amazing things!
I know PEOPLE VERY CLOSE TO ME THAT HAVE NEVER, EVER GIVEN ME A GIFT, Christmas, birthday, wedding, nothing, in my entire life! I Think it is ridiculous that THEY have zero problem accepting the gifts that I send them. I have never even gotten a thank you, phone call or acknowledgement that they ever even receive the gifts I send them? It is like, "oh here is yet another gift that Meredyth sent me, oh well, how nice." NOTHINGGGGG EVERRRR!!!
Is it so freaking hard to call and say "HEY, THANKS FOR THE GIFT, SORRY I DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING FOR THE 32ND YEAR IN A ROW BECAUSE I AM TOO BUSY BUYING CIGARETTES AND SHIT FOR MYSELF!" I think I may actually have popped something in my brain there.....
Anyway, I just don't want Cody, or any of my kids to be LIKE THAT. I don't want anyone to feel bad that they thought of my kids, and they just selfishly accepted that they are the "king tut that rightly deserves" a gift, yet doesn't find anyone worth going to Target, getting a $10 gift card, putting it in a card and sending it to say, HEY, I THOUGHT OF SOMEONE BESIDES MYSELF THIS YEAR!?!?!
Good think I am hiding my feelings in this one huh?
But honestly, it doesn't take much to send a pair of gloves, a scarf, a CD, an iTunes gift card or a Christmas ornament. It doesn't take but a second to pick up the phone and call and say thank you when you receive a gift. It is simple common courtesy, right?
I will continue to do what I KNOW is right, I will continue to lead my kids by example and show that gifts don't have to cost a lot, they don't have to be flashy or name brand, they just have to come from the heart. So the question I guess is this, if you don't get anyone Christmas gifts from the heart, and you don't say thank you for the one's you receive, is it because you don't have a heart, or just don't have any class?
I know when you give a gift you are not suppose to expect anything in return. I know that when you give someone something it is suppose to be because you want to give them a gift and you aren't expecting anything out of it. BUT LET'S GET REAL PEOPLE. This year, and next year, how about you not get anything from your spouse, or boyfriend or family and each year you get them something, trust me, you will get irritated and wonder what the heck is going on? It is called a Christmas exchange, not a Christmas give and not get.
Honestly, I like giving more that getting. Not that you could ever tell by this blog. I would rather send Leslie a gift than get one from her, but today, when I opened my front door and saw a huge box from her, I thought to myself, "Wow, she is really an amazing woman, she thought of me and my family and I can't wait to see what she chose!" It isn't about the gift, or what she spent, it is the thought. I guess I just like being thought of. I guess I just want people to feel thought of by my kids. Because the alternative, is, well, thoughtless....
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Well certainly people should thank you and acknowledge your gift!
ReplyDeleteBut I have a different perspective – please don’t buy me a gift! I don’t want you to spend your hard earned money on something I may or may not like only to feel obligated to spend my hard earned money to buy you something you may or may not like. I do appreciate things that are hand made or something you just don’t want anymore that I might like. But please don’t go out of your way to spend money.
Every year we tell out brothers and sister not to buy us things. At least one of them does. It’s annoying! Now I feel obligated to buy them something! Just spending time together as a family is fine enough for me.
TOTALLY agreed!
ReplyDeleteThe problem is when those "terms" haven't been worked out?! If there is an agreement, everyone should stick to it, otherwise people get embarrassed, don't have the money, aren't prepared to receive or give..etc.
I have it so that I buy nieces and nephews OR the siblings that don't have kids. If you don't have a kid, then YOU get the gift.
That's the way I do it...not so much everyone else?