Wacko Mom at the Park....HERE!
The other day I almost killed Cody, not like, "oh geeze, oh wiz, I am really super angry." But the.. run around the parking lot, chasing him, praying to God that I can catch him so I can strangle him in a brutal, painful way... that kind of kill him.
He just kept pestering his sisters and me. Not a normal kid pester either, I'm not a complete nut. The "I hate you Emersyn"...."Your the worst soccer player in the world Skylar" over and over and over for 30 minutes, pester!!! I try and be calm, be rational, try the good and sane mom thing. But then he won't stop and I start to lose it... I'm going to kill this kid if he doesn't stop it, he is ruining my beautiful, happy, really-good-mom, time at the park.
"NOW LEAVE YOUR SISTERS ALONE AND HAVE FUN!!"
Two hours earlier:
I've been a really good and nice mom so far today. He came home from school and asked to have a friend over (I was sleeping on the couch for a whole 10 minutes, the deep sleep that you can never quite find because you keep thinking that you should be putting the laundry in the dryer...yeah, I passed that and did the deep-don't-you-even-consider-waking-me-up sleep!) and he woke me up. Ok, that's fine, I say yes. "Mom, his mom is at work so you need to pick him up, please?!" I respond trying to not REALLY be awake but knowing I am completely screwed and not going back to sleep..."OK, No problem, tell him he can eat over, just give me 30 more minutes and I will go get him" Oh who the hell am I kidding, I'm not going back to sleep, you don't get two deep afternoon sleeps in one day, it's gone and I am not getting it back..kill me!
So I put my shoes on and go get him..fine...
Then I have the good-mother dumb-idea that I am going to take my kids to the park..WHY?! They were fine watching TV? So I take the friend home, he has sports, and the kids and I go to the park where Cody decides it is now time to antagonize each and every freaking one of us. I warn him. He stops and then a smart comment to Emersyn. I beg him. I threaten him that I am going to make him walk home from the park. He stops. He continues. He gets mad at me? He's mad because I won't leave him alone? Did I miss something here? I'm swinging on a swing? YOU ARE DRIVING US WACKO!!! We aren't bothering you at all?!
I can't take it. I threaten the threaten of the week, the month, the year...I tell him "if I am so bad and you want me to soooo leave you alone that I will NOT take you to soccer anymore, NOT be driving you and all seven of your friends to your birthday party on Friday AT THE HOCKEY GAME, IN A SUITE, WITH FOOD AND BEVERAGES AND OTHER GOODIES THAT THIS AWFUL, HORRIBLE MOM HAS SET UP FOR YOU...and I am checking out for good!! NOOOO PARTY!! NO NOTHING, I CAN'T TAKE IT!!"...He stares at me. I've got him right where I want him and he's got nothing.
He cracks and says "sorry"
I've been here before, I know all he is saying sorry for is to get his party back. I know this game...I need to breathe, I need to calm down, the teachers walking around the park are going to call the cops, I am yelling way to loud, I don't care, if I explained what is happening here they would kill him to, they would have already canceled the party.. I'm in control here...
We finally made it home and he is still alive. check.
A couple of hours go by and he is in and out of the family room and it hits me. Something is wrong, this isn't just Cody being aggravating, this is Cody acting out and I just destroyed him at the park. I just pushed him farther away. I need to ask.
"Hey Code, come here. what's wrong?" "Nothing..." and gives me the "I'm-not-talking-about-it-in-front-of-Skylar look." She leaves. "Well, tell me, your not leaving until you do." He stalls for a while, I threaten, I tell him that whatever it is I can fix it. He tells me. He tells me and the world unloads from him. It is like a flood of hurt unloads from his mind and now he's ok. Now he can like us again..now it all can stop.
That's the thing, Jim would always tell me before we were married, "when Cody is "like that" it is because something is wrong." And he is right, but I get caught up in it. I get "sucked in" and start fighting back. He's not trying to be mean, he just has a big ball of chaos stuck inside of him, that is trying desperately to get out.
I need to tie a red belt, or a chair or a tractor around my wrist so I don't forget what happened today. I need to just ask him before I get all crazy-mom-at-the-park on him, because I don't need to go to jail for chasing my son around the parking lot, I just need to remember to ask "What's wrong?"
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He just kept pestering his sisters and me. Not a normal kid pester either, I'm not a complete nut. The "I hate you Emersyn"...."Your the worst soccer player in the world Skylar" over and over and over for 30 minutes, pester!!! I try and be calm, be rational, try the good and sane mom thing. But then he won't stop and I start to lose it... I'm going to kill this kid if he doesn't stop it, he is ruining my beautiful, happy, really-good-mom, time at the park.
"NOW LEAVE YOUR SISTERS ALONE AND HAVE FUN!!"
Two hours earlier:
I've been a really good and nice mom so far today. He came home from school and asked to have a friend over (I was sleeping on the couch for a whole 10 minutes, the deep sleep that you can never quite find because you keep thinking that you should be putting the laundry in the dryer...yeah, I passed that and did the deep-don't-you-even-consider-waking-me-up sleep!) and he woke me up. Ok, that's fine, I say yes. "Mom, his mom is at work so you need to pick him up, please?!" I respond trying to not REALLY be awake but knowing I am completely screwed and not going back to sleep..."OK, No problem, tell him he can eat over, just give me 30 more minutes and I will go get him" Oh who the hell am I kidding, I'm not going back to sleep, you don't get two deep afternoon sleeps in one day, it's gone and I am not getting it back..kill me!
So I put my shoes on and go get him..fine...
Then I have the good-mother dumb-idea that I am going to take my kids to the park..WHY?! They were fine watching TV? So I take the friend home, he has sports, and the kids and I go to the park where Cody decides it is now time to antagonize each and every freaking one of us. I warn him. He stops and then a smart comment to Emersyn. I beg him. I threaten him that I am going to make him walk home from the park. He stops. He continues. He gets mad at me? He's mad because I won't leave him alone? Did I miss something here? I'm swinging on a swing? YOU ARE DRIVING US WACKO!!! We aren't bothering you at all?!
I can't take it. I threaten the threaten of the week, the month, the year...I tell him "if I am so bad and you want me to soooo leave you alone that I will NOT take you to soccer anymore, NOT be driving you and all seven of your friends to your birthday party on Friday AT THE HOCKEY GAME, IN A SUITE, WITH FOOD AND BEVERAGES AND OTHER GOODIES THAT THIS AWFUL, HORRIBLE MOM HAS SET UP FOR YOU...and I am checking out for good!! NOOOO PARTY!! NO NOTHING, I CAN'T TAKE IT!!"...He stares at me. I've got him right where I want him and he's got nothing.
He cracks and says "sorry"
I've been here before, I know all he is saying sorry for is to get his party back. I know this game...I need to breathe, I need to calm down, the teachers walking around the park are going to call the cops, I am yelling way to loud, I don't care, if I explained what is happening here they would kill him to, they would have already canceled the party.. I'm in control here...
We finally made it home and he is still alive. check.
A couple of hours go by and he is in and out of the family room and it hits me. Something is wrong, this isn't just Cody being aggravating, this is Cody acting out and I just destroyed him at the park. I just pushed him farther away. I need to ask.
"Hey Code, come here. what's wrong?" "Nothing..." and gives me the "I'm-not-talking-about-it-in-front-of-Skylar look." She leaves. "Well, tell me, your not leaving until you do." He stalls for a while, I threaten, I tell him that whatever it is I can fix it. He tells me. He tells me and the world unloads from him. It is like a flood of hurt unloads from his mind and now he's ok. Now he can like us again..now it all can stop.
That's the thing, Jim would always tell me before we were married, "when Cody is "like that" it is because something is wrong." And he is right, but I get caught up in it. I get "sucked in" and start fighting back. He's not trying to be mean, he just has a big ball of chaos stuck inside of him, that is trying desperately to get out.
I need to tie a red belt, or a chair or a tractor around my wrist so I don't forget what happened today. I need to just ask him before I get all crazy-mom-at-the-park on him, because I don't need to go to jail for chasing my son around the parking lot, I just need to remember to ask "What's wrong?"
Thanks for reading. Make sure and check out other great stories in the Archives!
Noah is the same way! It's so easy to get caught up in. Maybe it's a boy thing; I always have to drag it out of him but once I do and he's done talking about it, he always feels better and goes back to "normal"....whatever "normal" is for a tweenager :)
ReplyDeletethere is nothing normal about teens, tween or anyone older than 11!
ReplyDelete