My first Embarrassing moment

When I was in 3rd grade I remember we had to do a How-To speech. Everyone has to do one of these.  You stand in front of the class and describe How-To do something...anything. I remember Robyn made a cucumber and mayonnaise sandwich,  another kid made sundaes. When you were all finished describing How-To do your thing, you could give samples to the class, a class of 3rd graders.

I came home from school and presented the assignment to my mother. She said "great, you can make coleslaw." Coleslaw? Really? Of all the things I could make, coleslaw? Now in her defense, I could have told her about this project the night before and she would have done what I do, look in the refrigerator and grab whatever she could make.  Hey, I have sent my kids to school with 8 granola bars, 8 gummy treats and 5 apples for their birthday snack because that is all I had, so nothing is past me.

I vaguely remember my mom having me pre-cut everything and put it all in baggies. I then put all the baggies into THE SALAD SPINNER... Does anyone remember this little number? You put your wet lettuce or salad in it and then there was a lid with a crank on it and you spun the lettuce around and the water would shoot off of it and into the main bowl? Crazy, anyway, I put everything in that and that would then be what I would make the coleslaw in.

So there I was in front of the entire class talking about every kids favorite subject, coleslaw. Yeahhh, and carrots and cabbage and whatever else goes into soggy, smelly, wet coleslaw.  I remember making the slaw, by then, the shredded carrots and fermenting cabbage was making me ill, but I was still hoping that my How-To speech was going to be the most liked....the favorite!

I graciously filled the tiny little paper cups with the contents of my How-To creation and slowly walked around the class room... up one isle and down the next placing the cups of fermented slop onto each friend's desk.  As I walked, I looked at my trail of uneaten, ignored coleslaw cups and with each new placement, knew I was wasting my time.

Not one kid ate one bite of it, nobody, total and complete How-To failure.

Defeated, I packed up my slop and placed it under my desk, watched everyone throw away the little white cups and wanted the day to just be over.

The Salad Spinner was about my size so carrying it was no easy task.  I HAD to bring everything home per the teacher "because your mom may want that coleslaw." Yeah, nobody wants this crap, and by now it had been sitting under my hot desk for a few hours. I had about a 15 minute walk home and for whatever reason I was walking alone that day.  My walk took me through my neighbor's back yard and just as I hit their driveway, there was the neighbor's dad. Oh God, why does he have to see me like this, carrying this ridiculously huge bowl, with all this nasty coleslaw in it. I wonder if he can smell it. I wonder if he knows that today I was a complete failure?

"Whatch got there Meredyth?" and that was all I needed to be completely pushed over the edge...

I immediately started to cry and threw the bowl up in the air. Yeah, I didn't just run home, I launched that damn bowl of coleslaw all over the backyard and ran.  Maybe I wanted to leave the day behind me, maybe I couldn't take being around coleslaw anymore, I don't remember why, but it went up and I ran. It was kind of like in a movie where you see the bowl go up and up and then the coleslaw just goes everywhere... but it all happens in the most amazing slow motion. That was this scene.

I ran into the house screaming and crying and my mom is in the kitchen and she asks "oh geeze Meredyth, what's wrong"  I yell in the most tortured of ways "Scott...Scott... coleslaw, it's all over the back yard, everywhere, everyone hated it....I hate youuuu!" She had no idea what I was talking about, but who would.

I don't remember what happened next, but I remember she made me clean it up. Oh it was the most humiliating clean-up job ever. It was like the entire day was being smeared in my face. All the failure, all the drama, all the embarrassment.

I have no idea why this crazy event has stuck in my head all these years, most likely because it was my first brush with being truly embarrassed in front of so many different people.  It was a learning experience though, now I am totally aware of what I have my kids turn in for school projects.  I guess I still need to work on what they bring in for snacks, I mean, who the heck sends in 3 different items for a birthday treat? I'm a work in progress I guess?

Thanks for reading. Make sure and check out other great stories in the Archives!