Mom Fired For Having a Blog

Since starting this blog, I have been....well... let's just say occupied with it. I obsess about how many people are reading, at what time, from where they came and what country they live in.  It all amazes me.  I love that people from all over the world are reading...obsessed.  I wake up early in the morning, open the computer, get coffee and check the site. I eat, check the site, before I leave the house, I check the site..I get it, I am a lunatic.  The thing is though, they are my words, my stories, and I want people to read them, enjoy them, and get something out of them and the fact that there are 300 people a day looking at this stuff..well, to me that is an absolute miracle.

Ya see, being a stay-at-home mother of three kids is completely and totally thankless.  Nobody thinks twice about anything I do...at all.  Their clothes miraculously appear clean on their beds, food just walks itself into the refrigerator and the bills just write the checks themselves?! God don't I wish!!  Nobody looks at me as anything but as a way to their survival.  I have no wants, needs, feelings, hopes, dreams...they think I just want to be "mom."  They don't care that I have a college degree that I graduated with honors, they don't care that my brain still works for something besides changing diapers! They just want 3 meals, food in the frig and clean clothes, that's it. That's all I need to do to keep my "job" here.



But the thing is...I want more! I have been wanting to use this gray mush between my ears for a while now and this crazy ass blog has given me something that is ME, MINE, MEREDYTH!!  This blog has given me people, it has given me something outside of taking care of 4-foot humans that call me "mom!" AND I DON'T THINK THESE 4 FOOTERS LIKE ME HAVING A LIFE VERY MUCH!! Granted, I need to step away from the laptop a little more often, but this is new and I want to make sure I am taking care of it.  I want to see who is reading, looking, interested, I want to be reminded that I am a person outside of these kids, this family, my husband, this house.  I want to be reminded a few times a day that I am smart and a good writer and that people actually give a crap about what I have to say...Lord knows these teens don't care.


So the thing is Cody is grounded from his computer, (Dumb F&^% Kid Insurance-part 1) and so now he doesn't have that to keep his attention so he decided yesterday to tell Jim...."and nobody pays attention to me..we never do anything and mom's always on the computer and never pays attention to anyone...ever!!!!"  So, there it is...mom is always on the computer.  The guilt trip.  The "how dare you even consider having a life outside of us" speech.  What would these people do if I had a job outside the home like 80% of moms do? What would these people here do then??? They'd deal with it..they'd make their own dinner once in a while, have OTHER moms drive and deal with it.  How dare I have a "Meredyth thing?!" UG.  How dare I have something that takes me away from groceries, dishes, laundry, cleaning, taking care of kids...I mean, what the heck was I thinking?!


I am studying to be a homeopathic practitioner.  I am so excited I can't even see straight, hence the title Journey 2 Health.  I need money to buy all the equipment, but don't want me purchasing the equipment to adversely affect the family finances, so I have put my advancement on the back burner for a few weeks.  WHAT ARE THESE KIDS GOING TO DO WHEN I START THAT??  Why can't I have a career? Why can't I do something? Do most moms just tell their kids to deal with it?


Why do moms always just put themselves 2nd, 3rd, 10th? Why do we feel that we have to work and take care of everything and if we aren't, we are failing? Why can't everyone else do this stuff?  I am trying to have a SOMETHING here!?  I want a SOMETHING for ME!!! ME! ME! ME!! I can't even image it? 


But then again, Emersyn is sitting here with a book, "eyes, nose, mouse, ears, hair..." and pointing to a person's face in a book...and that is ME? And Skylar just ran out of the door and politely asked me to put away her cereal because she is running late for school...and that is ME?  


It isn't easy being a woman.  Being pulled in so many directions, having desires to take care of your children, and desires to  be a person outside of everything that is children?! Can you have it all? How can I have a "Meredyth thing" and still give myself 100% to my kids? It's not possible.  


How can I have a successful homeopathic practice and take care off these kids? Can I do it? How do people do it?  I just don't want to look back and say I dropped the ball with any of these kids.  They are my legacy.  How do I do it? Maybe it can't be done, I'm not sure.  But I do know one thing, I'm not giving up on myself, or this blog.. I've got fans now..and I have to take care of them...Don't I?


Thanks for reading. Make sure and check out other great stories in the Archives!