Jim is in Iowa with 24 year olds

Jim has moved out West. He has ventured to Iowa for four days to party like a rockstar.  He is in yet another wedding, this time the bride is 24...which means all her wedding party is 24, which means Jim will be doing the chicken dance on Saturday with girls that were born when I was 14. They don't know what the Love Boat is and most likely have no idea why anyone would get off the couch to change the channel on the TV.

Jim asked me to go but I didn't feel it was necessary.  I would have had to get someone to watch the kids, get a plane ticket, sleep on an air mattress at his friend's house...oh kill me.  And then there is the mixer..oh, I mean wedding.  I wonder if they will be playing Vanilla Ice or Justin Bieber?  Ok, ok, I am being awful here...but I guess this could be any 38 year old woman's nightmare. Your husband's friend is acting on any man's dream, I mean we have only been married 3 years, he's not going anywhere...right?

I just told him if he cheats not to tell me.  He said "ok"....should I worry?



How bad is that?  I don't even care, or should I say, I don't act like I care.  Maybe it is because I can't imagine it.  I just wouldn't want to know, OH and I don't want any weird diseases or anything.  I don't think I am asking to much?  But he wouldn't cheat, he isn't like that, he loves being home, he loves his family and he isn't trading me in for a new model yet.  I mean, you can't new-model "THIS!"  They don't make 'em like me, (at least that is what I tell myself).   I am not sure Jim would want to "keep up" with a 24 year old anyway, he is to sleepy.

Jim's aunt brought up a very valid point.  These girls will probably all be like "oh, my dad has that shirt" and "my dad really likes that song," and my poor little Jim will come home defeated.  Being older is a B&^ch.   Jim is cool...ish...sort of.  I'll build you back up my sweet man..."see how good at changing diapers you are...you're not old..you have a 2 year old."  You vibrant stud you.

Yeah, these girls' boobs are where God originally placed them, and there bodies don't even know about stretch marks yet, but they also can't negotiate with a 2 year old, make dinner, and sew on Girl Scout patches all while doing 8th grade math.  They got nothin on me.  So have fun my dear Jim, enjoy the next four days because while you are gone I am teaching Emersyn how to shave her legs, Skylar how to drive and Cody how to clean your shot guns... Don't worry, I got this covered.




Thanks for reading. Make sure and check out other great stories in the Archives!