Help!! My Teen Got Loose Again!

So I've come up with a product that I think we as a society need to protect ourselves from what we cannot control, Dumb F&^$ Kid Insurance!  I need it, I want it, where can I buy it?!?!

Think about it! If your kid does something really stupid, how do you protect yourself, your family, your cash?! You can't! You drive smart, you live smart, you follow the rules and everything is fine and then BAM, your kid goes out into the world and screws everything up for you and your done!!


Parental liability is the term used to refer to a parent's obligation to pay for damage done by negligent, intentional, or criminal acts of that parent's child. In most states, parents are responsible for all malicious or willful property damage done by their children. AKA, they do something and you pay...period!

Examples:

1) Your kid decides to have a romantic evening at their boyfriend's house, fills the house with candles and burns the house down...You're screwed (and a true story).

2) Your kid has some friends over while you're not home and they all drink alcohol, the friend has to go to the hospital and almost dies....You're screwed (happens).

3) Your kid harasses someone and now you are being taken to court....You're screwed.

4) Your kids gets a girl pregnant, now you are financially responsible to pay for that baby till your dumb kid is 18....You're screwed (A LAW!!)

5) If you child gets a gun, the parent is responsible...You're screwed!

6) The family car doctrine holds the owner (parent) of a family car legally responsible for any damage caused by a family member (your kids) when driving if the owner (parent) knew of, and consented to the family member's (kid's) use of the car!...they hit someone....You're screwed!!



A parent is liable for a child's negligent acts if the parent knows or has reason to know that it is necessary to control the child and the parent fails to take reasonable actions to do so. This legal theory is known as negligent supervision.....There is usually no dollar limit on this type of liability. 


WHAT THE HECK!!! I would have never had all these kids if I knew I was going to be responsible for all of this? Teens have certifiable brain damage?! They can't be responsible enough to bring their gym shoes to school, how can we let them out into the world? We're screwed!!

I need Dumb F&^% Kid Insurance and I need it now!! I do my best, I really really do, and I have car insurance and house insurance, heck I have insurance for everything, but where is the "I let my kids out into the world and I don't quite know what he is gonna do" insurance?  I need that! Who is selling that?

I am not saying any of my kids are dumb or malicious, but what if? There is the question of the hour, WHAT IF?? Am I ready to lose everything I have worked for because my kid decides a condom "isn't his style?!".... Ahhh, child support for my grandkid...kill me!!

Every year the school sends home a paper that I have to sign that states that I am financially responsible if my child ruins a computer at school. HUH?! REALLY?!?! But.... But, I am not even there? Aren't you suppose to be watching them? Where's the school's part in this? "Forget it...don't let them use a computer at school, I don't need the worry...what? You say I have to let them use the computer? So I HAVE to put my saving account in the hands of a 14 year old...oh, that seems really smart!..I won't even give my kids a credit card, but I am suppose to let them into the world with my life's savings?!

So, there it is, the Parent Liability Child's Act. We are responsible, period.  So I guess the only thing to do is hang them on a nail in the garage till they are the "Age of Majority."  Ya know, the age when THEY are responsible for the crap they do.  But I get it, you raise them to be morons and you reap what you sew.

HEY!!!  But what if I didn't raise them to be morons?  What if I did a really good job and BAM, they go out and  forget everything I taught them and they use their teen brain? Then what? To bad, I'm screwed, I'm paying!! Unless, of course, I can get me some Dumb F&^% Kid Insurance, because then I am covered. Then I can drop my shoulders, let them off the nail in the garage and I can let them out of the house again. Problem solved!



Thanks for reading. Make sure and check out other great stories in the Archives!

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