When It is ok to Cave

Cody just came home from another day of soccer tryouts for school. He bounced in the house in such a good mood that I am afraid to even speak to him just in case I mess up the mojo (did I mention he is 14?).  He told me soccer went well and then very confidently announced how he was going to go in to the kitchen to have some ice cream covered with hot fudge.  I then calmly told him that he couldn't because we would be eating dinner soon.  He then gave me the look and voiced that he would like to have his dinner after rec. soccer which ends at 7:15. I know, two soccers in one day, I didn't plan this, I only follow the schedules.

Why is it that when these kids argue back, or plead their case, it recently makes pretty decent sense? I don't want to cave but he's got a point.  He then looks at me that way and says "besides, I've been looking forward to ice cream the whooolee time...kill me...fine, have some..

Why do I cave?

Maybe because this is one of those nobody's going to die things, so I don't want to dig my heels into nonsense? I feel like I am losing footing sometimes with these kids, but I get it.  He had been envisioning ice cream and hot fudge during soccer, he knew what it would taste like, feel like and knew all he had to do was go home and get it.  There was no well gee, I need to eat dinner first in his head, only ice cream... I have the same issues...



I was just at Skylar's ortho appointment and all I could think about was the Baked 2 Beans sitting in the refrigerator. I am actually pretty sure I heard them calling for me. No, I am not kidding. We have ice cream and chips and salsa and my nutty self is craving baked beans? Weird, I know. Cody was craving ice cream and hot fudge, at least I raised him right!

That's the thing, I think you have to pick your battles. I have to raise him right for years, not only this second.  I can't be a hard nose all the time, sometimes I have to, as my husband says, Lose the fight to win the battle.   So I caved, who cares, he's eating chocolate chocolate chip ice cream covered in hot fudge at 5:00 pm, so I'm the worst mom ever. Don't care.  Maybe he will learn compromise from this little session of give and take, doubt it.

All he is thinking about is what the latest text is on his cell phone and what his ice cream tastes like.  He doesn't care or think about the fact that I just had a complete battle take place in my head. He doesn't realize that in 5 seconds I just weighed all the facts of ice cream, soccer, mojo, dinner, soccer, hot fudge, arguing, fighting or not fighting, and how that would all affect life as we know it in that moment and that this happens 100 times a day. Nope. Text, ice cream, happy.

I am sure he won't eat all his dinner, I don't even care because we have developed the if you don't eat your dinner, you do dishes rule, so it actually benefits me if these kids don't eat.  I giggle thinking of the beauty of it.  I just have to serve them a little to much food and I don't have to do dishes. Per-fection!


So now we are off to Barnes and Noble because he wants to buy a book with a gift card he got for his birthday. He loves to read, reads an hour a night at the least....Like I said, lose the battle, win the war.